Building a Positive Rapport with Real Estate Agents

2 June 2025

So, you're in the market for a new home—or maybe you're looking to offload that poor excuse for a "starter house" you bought eight years ago that now feels smaller than a studio apartment. Either way, you're likely going to need a real estate agent. And let’s be honest—it’s kind of like going on a blind date, except instead of awkwardly discussing your favorite Netflix shows over overpriced drinks, you’re handling six-figure deals and betting your future on their expertise. No pressure, right?

But here's the thing: building a positive rapport with your real estate agent isn’t just a "nice-to-have." It's absolutely essential. Not getting along with your agent can turn what should be a thrilling journey into something that feels more like a reality TV nightmare. Trust me, house hunting already comes with enough drama without adding "irreparable communication breakdown" to the mix.

So buckle up, my friend, and let’s dive into how you can craft a killer relationship with your agent—complete with tips that will make them actually want to work with you, rather than just tolerate your existence.

Why Should You Care About Rapport?

First of all, let me ask you this: would you go on a road trip with someone you can't stand? Probably not, right? Because being stuck in close quarters with someone who drives you up the wall is a recipe for disaster. Well, buying or selling a house is kind of like a road trip—except instead of driving a few hundred miles, you're navigating through contracts, negotiations, and endless amounts of paperwork.

A strong rapport with your agent ensures smoother communication, better teamwork, and a seamless transaction process (or as seamless as it can get when dealing with appraisals, inspections, and people who ghost you after accepting your offer). Plus, agents tend to go the extra mile for clients they actually like. Who doesn’t want a little VIP treatment?

Step 1: Pick the Right Agent (Yes, You Get a Say)

You wouldn’t swipe right on just anyone, would you? The same energy applies to picking a real estate agent. Chemistry is key. Don’t just go with the first agent whose face you see plastered on a park bench.

Here are a few tips to choose wisely:

- Do Your Homework: Read their reviews and testimonials. If someone says, "They ghosted me faster than my ex," take the hint.
- Ask Questions: Treat this like an interview. “How long have you been in the business?” “Do you specialize in this area?” And for the love of HGTV, ask how they communicate. If they say, “I hate phone calls and only text,” you better love emojis.
- Trust Your Gut: If you immediately feel like you could grab a beer with this person after closing, that’s a good sign.

Step 2: Communicate Clearly, But Don't Be THAT Client

You know the one. The high-maintenance nightmare who sends emails at 2 a.m. demanding updates and CCs half the internet. Don’t be that person. Your agent doesn’t need you to micromanage them like they’re your 16-year-old babysitter.

Instead:

- Be Honest About Your Preferences: No, they don’t need a 10-page spreadsheet of every Pinterest-worthy kitchen feature you desire. But if granite countertops are non-negotiable, say so upfront.
- Set Expectations: Like texting at 9 p.m.? Awesome. Prefer only emails? Cool. Just let them know your vibe so they’re not playing a game of “guess my preferred communication style.”
- Use Your Words Wisely: Pro tip: "I’m frustrated because XYZ" is way more effective than going full Karen and screaming at someone who doesn’t control the market, the inventory, or the weather.

Step 3: Show Some Appreciation

Look, I get it. Real estate agents make a commission, so you may feel like you don’t owe them anything extra. But newsflash: being civil doesn’t cost a dime! In fact, a little kindness can make their job—and your experience—way better.

- Say Thank You: A simple "Thanks for dealing with my indecisiveness over 14 properties" goes a long way.
- Acknowledge Their Effort: Remember, agents often work weekends, late nights, and holidays. If they’re schlepping around town on a Saturday to show you homes, the least you can do is say a heartfelt, “Wow, I really appreciate you working around my schedule.”
- Don’t Hog Their Time: You are not their only client (shocking, I know). Be respectful of their availability, and don’t act like the world stops for your house hunt.

Step 4: Respect the Process (Even When It Makes You Want to Scream)

Let’s get something straight: Your agent cannot magically conjure your dream home out of thin air. They are not house wizards, nor do they control interest rates, the seller’s mood, or the fact that every house in your budget looks like it was last remodeled in 1972.

A few things to keep in mind:

- Patience Is a Virtue: The perfect home might not appear overnight. Relax. Your agent hasn’t forgotten you just because you haven’t found “The One” within two open houses.
- Trust Their Expertise: If they tell you a property is overpriced, they’re not trying to ruin your life. They’ve seen the comps, Karen. Listen to them.
- Play Nice with Others: Remember, your agent is often negotiating on your behalf. If the seller sees you as an unreasonable tyrant during showings, that bad juju can rub off on your offer.

Step 5: Be Realistic

I’m going to keep it real with you: HGTV has ruined us all. You’re not buying Joanna Gaines’ Farmhouse Chic Mansion on a Taco Bell budget. Adjust your expectations accordingly, and your relationship with your agent will be all rainbows and butterflies.

Here's what being realistic looks like:

- Know Your Budget: Seriously, if you’ve been preapproved for $400K, don’t waste your agent’s time dragging them to $600K listings “just to see.”
- Location, Location, Reality Check: If you want to live in a trendier part of town, understand that you might get less square footage or fewer amenities. You can’t have it all (unless you’re secretly a billionaire).
- Compromise Is Key: Maybe the kitchen doesn’t have a farmhouse sink, but does it really matter if everything else checks your boxes?

Step 6: Don’t Be Afraid to Cut Ties (Politely)

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, the relationship isn’t working. Maybe they don’t vibe with your personality, or you’ve discovered your “reliable” agent is more flaky than a croissant. That’s okay! It’s business, not personal.

However:

- Be Respectful: Kindly let them know you’re moving in a different direction. Ghosting your agent is just plain rude.
- Review Your Agreement: Some agents have exclusive contracts that may bind you to them for a certain period. Read the fine print before jumping ship.
- Look for Red Flags Early: If it seems like they’re always too busy for you or they’re pressuring you into decisions, trust your instincts.

Step 7: Celebrate After Closing

The deal is done, the keys are in your hand, and you’re ready to pop the champagne (or, let’s be real, collapse from exhaustion). But don’t forget to include your agent in the celebration.

Why? Because they were part of your journey. Whether you send a thank-you card, leave a glowing review, or invite them to your housewarming party, showing gratitude after closing is the cherry on top of a successful partnership.

Final Thoughts

Building a positive rapport with a real estate agent is basically like fostering any other healthy relationship—it’s all about communication, respect, and the occasional reality check. Sure, there might be some bumps along the way, but if you play your cards right (and don’t act like a home-buying diva), you’ll have an agent who’s not only on your side but genuinely rooting for you to succeed.

So go ahead, charm the pants off your real estate agent (figuratively, of course), and make the home-buying or selling process a little less chaotic. Who knows? By the end, you might even call them a friend.